In this post, I want to tell you a story about an acquaintance, which also served as a valuable lesson for me personally. This story is actually a mirror in which many of us have seen our own reflection.
Table of Contents
1. When money arrives, emotions follow the numbers
I remember a time when a friend of mine had just finished a major project after months of working late and received a very well-deserved bonus. The feeling at that moment wasn’t just joy about the money; it was the satisfaction of having “personal value recognized.”
He started upgrading to the latest phone, treating himself to luxury dinners, and shopping without looking at the price tags. Those days passed in a glittery blur of laughter. At that point, money was no longer just a tool; it became a kind of “medal” used to prove to the world—and to himself—that he had succeeded. But a silent mistake had crept in: my friend had placed the entire foundation of his happiness on a fluctuating number.
2. When the money fades, the joy quietly leaves too
Only a short time later, the bonus began to dwindle under daily expenses. The job was the same, and his abilities were unchanged, but his mood took a nosedive. He felt heavy, irritable, and started to become disillusioned with reality. Things that used to make him smile—like an afternoon sitting on a sidewalk watching the streets—suddenly felt dull.
Why did this happen? It wasn’t because the scenery had changed, but because the “dopamine threshold” in his brain had been pushed too high by the money. Once you get used to the high of spending, simple joys suddenly feel “bland.”
“Money can buy excitement, but excitement is never sustainable happiness.”
3. The trap of emotional dependency
The real problem wasn’t a lack of money; it was the delegation of emotions to finances. Many of us accidentally install a “faulty operating system” in our heads:
- Having money: Feel confident, valuable, and worthy of love.
- Out of money: Feel inadequate, see a bleak future, and start blaming ourselves.
This is the most dangerous trap: when you confuse human value with spending power. If your worth only exists in your account balance, then when that number stays flat or drops, you feel like “nobody.”
4. Money creates peaks, but it can’t build stability
Money buys joy that is fast and intense, but it is a “borrowed” joy. And since it is borrowed, it must be paid back with a sense of emptiness when the money is gone. Happiness based on material things always requires a “higher dose” next time: today it’s a phone, tomorrow it must be a car, the day after it must be a more luxurious trip.
Meanwhile, the things that help us stand firm in life—like inner peace, self-respect, and the ability to adapt—aren’t sold in any store. The more we depend on appearances, the hollower our inner selves become. The scariest thing isn’t an empty pocket, but the thought: “Without this money, I don’t know what to do to be happy.”
At that point, money has shifted from a “supportive tool” to a tyrannical “boss.” You start seeing financial shortage as evidence of personal failure, even though in reality, you are still a kind, hardworking, and high-potential person.
5. Keep the right to decide your happiness for yourself
I wouldn’t dare advise you to live in austerity or reject money. Like everyone else, I need money to live. Money is precious; it helps life run more smoothly. But, my friend, never entrust your right to be happy to a pile of receipts. Build your joy on things that are more “constant”: a cost-free hobby, new knowledge learned each day, or your own self-discipline.
- When you have money: Life will be more vibrant and convenient.
- When you don’t have much yet: You are still steady enough to smile, because your value is in your heart, not in your wallet.
Let money fill your life, but don’t let it rule your soul. Because a happiness that lives only on money will, sooner or later, be taken away entirely by money.
Have you ever felt a sense of loss when your balance dropped, even though your life was still going fine? Share your secrets for staying grounded in the comments below!
