I know how to swim—at least, in theory. But for years, every time I stood before the ocean, my feet would freeze. It wasn’t a fear of deep water; it was an old, cold memory that would suddenly surface and take over my mind.
I remember that summer when I was 15 in Nha Trang as if it were yesterday. In the excitement of youth, I swam far out from the shore, completely unaware of the danger lurking nearby. A rogue wave suddenly crashed down on me, sweeping me several yards further out. The sensation of swallowing water, the suffocating panic, and my hands flailing helplessly in the vast ocean—it was a terror that words can’t describe. Even though the rescue team pulled me to shore in time, that feeling of being completely out of control was etched into my soul.
The event ended long ago, but the fear stayed behind, as vivid as if it happened this morning.
“Memory can be a sanctuary, but it can also be a prison for our courage.”
Table of Contents
When fear arrives before the action
After that incident, I hated the beach. I turned down every invitation from the ocean. That is, until the day my company organized a team-building trip at the shore. As a new employee, I was desperate to fit in, but that location was a “forbidden zone” in my heart. I almost gave up, but it was my father’s encouragement that gave me the nerve to stand before the waves once more.
Standing there after all those years, the obsession came rushing back. I wasn’t thinking about how far I could swim; I was only terrified that I would lose control again. Every tiny wave lapping at the shore was enough to make my heart race.
I realized that fear doesn’t wait for you to fail before it shows up. It stands there, whispering in your ear before you even begin: “Don’t risk your life,” or “It’s safer on the shore.” And so I stood there, watching everyone play in the water, while I tried to convince myself: “It’s fine, it’s too dangerous anyway; it doesn’t matter if I don’t swim.”
The waves weren’t the thing stopping me
I eventually asked myself: Am I actually afraid of the water? Or am I afraid of repeating that feeling of being swept away?
The more I thought about it, the clearer it became: what made me hesitate wasn’t the blue sea, but the memory tied to a past failure. My body remembered the pain perfectly, and it reacted by instinct before my logic could intervene. This fear is just like any other fear in life: fearing a new job because you blew the last one; fearing a new relationship because you’ve been hurt; fearing failure so much that you choose to stand still forever.
“We are rarely afraid of the present; we are just afraid of the ghosts of the past returning.”
Learning not to force an immediate “win”
Seeing me standing silently on the sand, a colleague walked over and whispered, “Are you afraid of the waves?” When I stayed silent, they continued, “Don’t be afraid. You don’t have to go into the ocean right now. Just daring to stand a little closer to the water’s edge is enough to win against yourself.”
That sentence woke me up. They were right—I didn’t need to swim out into the deep immediately. I just needed to stop letting fear make all my choices for me. Remembering my father’s words—“I believe you are strong enough to face this”—I gathered all my courage and slowly stepped toward the water’s edge.
Lessons from footsteps in the sand
I’ve learned this: fear doesn’t disappear when we deny it; denial only makes it stronger. Every small step we take to try again is a declaration to ourselves: the past is over, and the present is a completely different chapter.
I don’t need to prove I’m the bravest person there. I just need to stop letting fear define my limits.
“Courage isn’t the absence of fear, but being afraid and walking forward anyway.”
Now, every time I stand before the sea, there are still ripples of anxiety in my heart. But I can finally see the beauty of the ocean; I can love it and go into the water with everyone else. The sea is the same, but I am different.
Each of us has a “deep water” zone in our hearts—a memory that makes us hesitate. Are you standing on the shore watching life pass you by because of an old fear? Try moving closer to the water’s edge, just an inch at a time. You’ll find that the ocean isn’t actually as scary as your memory says it is.
